Today I made my very first Sushi. *GRIN*
Clickety Biggety!
It's mostly Spicy Crab. Mmmmm.
It wasn't so much different than making Onigiri. Just mixed in some Rice Vinegar, sugar and salt. It was fun to make and fun to eat. :D
In other news I'm still in a somewhat bad mood. I think I caught it from Cookie. *L* Better than crying though. That's what the previous week had been like.
Damn PMS. Grr.
It was just a weird week. I cried TWICE in public. o.0 That's fucked up. I hadn't cried in ages or something. Then BAM! Emotional Wreckage.
The first time, and of all places, was at the yarn shop. I was having a perfectly lovely time with some perfectly lovely people that I adore and BAM-O!
In all fairness the subject matter turned to that of my very much loved kitty and that fact that she's older... since we got back she had been sleeping weird a few nights. Rather than sleep on my head she had slept beside me. So not TOO weird, but still. I casually mentioned it and this lady who is all kinds of fierce, blunt and just kickass awesome said it sounded like my kitty was preparing to die.
o.0
I think there was a delayed effect while my brain was telling me it was wrong, then I burst into tears a minute later. Yeah I'm weird that way.
The poor woman felt so bad. Then I felt bad for making her feel bad.
Truly I should not ever leave my house. I'm just not fit to be in public.
Now that was kinda understandable as I loves my kitty cat muchly much and had just been through that whole thing at the vet about her almost busted eardrum thingy. Plus she still has to have a tooth removed. She is the worlds most wonderful and special kitty and it just crushes me to think I won't always have the pleasure of her company.
But that's a story for another time and when I'm not still weird. Yeah...
Now if that all wasn't enough last week I got even weirder. o.0
It was Tuesday and I met with my Personal Trainer person. She's a fun person and wasn't at all a jackass the way the dork fuck who signed me up was if ya know what I mean.
So Tuesday was our last session together of the 6 I signed up for. I might do that again to learn more stuff at a future date though. She was cool and showed me stuff I could do on my own and not once pressured me to buy more crap or whatever.
So anyway she decided to show me this machine I had never seen before. It was called an assisted Dip Shrug. If you've seen one or used one you might see where this is going.
I immediately told her I didn't feel comfortable with it. I'm not a fan of heights. I get dizzy enough from the height that the tread mills are on. No kidding. I can't look down or I feel like I'm falling. o.0
Now this thing I had to climb up on and place my knees about where my shoulders are. o.0
I've tried everything this lady had shown me. Even things I was afraid of. She said I could do it and not to be afraid. Thing is she had used the machine or done the exercise to show me what to expect. She didn't do that this time. Just told me I could do it.
I should have stuck to my guns. I was afraid, very afraid. I do not like heights. AT ALL.
The other thing she sorta failed to mention was that I needed to climb up and use my arms to support myself. I had to hold my body up using my arms, it's an assisted machine even.
Yet I was not expecting any of that. Or the fact that if you don't hold yourself up the machine will fall all the way down to the floor.
*blush* It was bad. Very bad.
So I being a dumb dumb sucker climbed up thinking she'd tell me what to do next after I got up there. As I was climbing up I again said how much I wasn't comfortable with the height I was at. Then when I put my knees on the pad... well I kinda forget exactly what happened after that. Next thing I know the damn thing is falling to the ground. Somewhere in there I hopped off and back. She said it was like watching a cat jump backwards. o.0
It crashed loudly and with much attention getting to the ground. THEN when I jumped off it slammed back up and the weight plates loudly smacked into each other. o.0 LOUDLY.
I think the loudness of it scared me as much as falling.
I who would like to believe I'm invisible most of the time just got a big dose of hey lookie at my lack of grace. GAH! After I hopped off I pointed at the machine like it was evil incarnate and said I am not getting back on that fucking thing!! Then I burst into tears. *dies*
It was bad. The lady was shocked and immediately started apologizing. We went to the female only area and she told me that she was sorry and that she should have listened to me and shown me how the machine works. She also said if I wanted a new trainer she understood.
She was cool about it, but boy did I feel like an ass. Really I shouldn't be allowed to leave my house. I need more supervision or something. o.0
Next time I went to the gym (2/14) I met up with Rachel and we did the more sane and less likely to get your head ripped off stuff like the tread mill and bike thingies.
I really don't like crying in front of people. It's just stupid. I mean for me. If someone cries in front of me I don't think they are stupid. I just wish I didn't wear my emotions so close to the surface. Especially since I can't really smack the people I want to smack. Or at the very least tell them what poorly socialized ass clowns they are. So I'll just do my best to ignore them. Would it be equally as obnoxious to tell an ass clown what a waste of existence they are when they say something so mind numbingly stupid and offensive? Most of the time you can ignore people like that as nothing they say has any real value and is therefor not worth getting upset over. But would it be so wrong to tell them what you really think? Would it stop them or just cause more conflict? *sigh* I guess I'll just learn to bite my tongue better.
Kinda sick of biting my tongue though.
I don't mean the lady at the yarn shop or the gym lady. They are both nice people who just caught me on a bad day. Damn PMS. But other people. People who act stupid and annoy me on a good day, well they can go to hell.
In other news recently a friend told me I was the most bottled up, compartmentalized person she knew. I'm not sure about the bottled up part. I do tend to tell my honey and my best friend what I'm dealing with or feeling. I just don't volunteer a lot of extra information, especially if it's not asked for or wanted in the first place. As for having my life divided up into neat little manageable sections I don't see anything wrong with that at all. Not a damn bit. Not all my friends have to be friends with each other. I don't have to like everything and everyone the rest of the world likes. As my brother says about his best friend and I ever meeting up, it's not going to happen, worlds will not collide. I respect that. I wish everyone did. There are parts of my life that are very important to me that not everyone I know is aware of. Like going to the gym, or my knitting or what I do with my free time. I don't need to share everything.
Now that's odd that I'm saying this here and that I am mentioning things that all y'all know about. :P I've become a very chatty Cathy on this blog. *L*
Anyway so yeah I'm weird. I'm a weird girl. Not everything I do makes sense and if you only ever know a piece of the puzzle and not the whole thing it'll make even less sense. And I'm okay with that.
Why did I bother to say any of that here, well it's my blog and I felt like saying it.
I also feel like saying that the more a person takes themself too seriously and puts themself on a peddle stool the less interesting they become. So when you feel like maybe that is happening it might be a good time to pull your head out of your ass and look around at the rest of the world. I dunno something just irritating as fuck when privileged people start thinking they deserve the world handed to them on a platter. In the end it is our own self respect that matters and it cannot be based on how much the rest of the world values us. So go respect yourself and then maybe we can humbly appreciate any respect anyone else wants to lay on our wee little heads. ya dig.
So yeah still in a bad mood. Too much stupid people around or something. Plus the whole travel business. Though I'm kinda excited about that, well one day of the trip anyway. Ann, Fix the weather I'll see ya next week!
I hope some of that made sense. It's mostly stuff that has been floating around in my head for the last week or so. I'm sure I'll feel much better now that I got it off my chest. ;^)
Tomorrow there will be Sock Progress Proof. Wheeeeeeee!!
