The Mystery Poo: I hate my neighbors (on that one side)

Recently here at the Otter Homestead we've had a problem with some pests from the house of the former slutty next door neighbors. Cookie has heard me complain about various people who live in this house for years now. I'm starting to think the house itself is cursed. o.0

The first group of assholes who lived in it had a propensity for drinking heavily and leaving HUGE fires unattended in their backyard. They also had visitors who drank and drove and parked badly in front of our house. Fuckers. Now this group of assholes was some Rich Ass Daddy's Boy who's poppa purchased him TWO homes, one to live in and one to rent out to get an income from. But seeing as ill prepared for life party skank boy didn't know how to take care of his shit Mommy came by and made him move. She hired some people to clean up his crap and deal with ALL the weeds and pests that lived a carefree life in the nasty ass backyard. When the undocumented workers she hired to clean up the backyard threw their trash over the fence into our backyard rather than disposing of it properly she came by an apologized. (after we complained)

Then they rented out the house to some friends of good for nothing poor little rich boy. Oy. This idiot was a skanky piece of shit who had her mother taking care of her illegitimate child while she spent her time coming and going all hours of the day and night with various men. Not sure if she was selling or giving it away. Either way great example for your kid. It'd be one thing if it was when the kid was at school or something or even if it was the same guy every month or so. But no, we're talking a few different ones each week. Drunk, parking badly and spending the night. She also played loud music outside while doing Faux Yoga in her underpants.It kinda sucked when I was outside in the backyard tending to my now frost bitten tomatoes and skank face would glare at me for being outside. Um it's outside if you want privacy that's what the inside is for and if I happen to laugh when you fart doing downward dog that is NOT my fault. *gag* Note to self: 6 foot high fences are not tall enough. Now that wouldn't bother me so much, if she wants to live her life as a petri dish that is fine with me, but the bitch didn't do her yard work. The grandma mowed a tiny bit for the child to play in and the front yard, but around the outer edges of the backyard the shit got out of control. And since that effects me I give a damn.

A month ago or so she finally moved. I think she was asked to leave because she was all fucking weird when she left. GoodBye you disease carrying wombat. No offense to wombats.

Now before she left we thought it was strange as hell that birds of prey would sit on the fence looking into the yard. You'd see them swoop down and grab some small rodent and fly off with a plump lunch. It would have been kinda cool to watch, except for the fact that surely all those rodents can't be a good thing so close to my house. Now remember the rodents later, it will be important to the mystery poo part of our story. o.0

Then we started seeing strange cats running through the overgrown mess and jumping over the fence. JUMPING OVER A SIX FOOT TALL FENCE!?! o.0 Fucking Huge Bionic Cats. A few have collars on and some are obviously strays. It's  sad and if I didn't have my little TKK to consider I wouldn't begrudge them a thing being here. But who knows if they have parasites, fleas or disease. I can't have that possibly contaminate affecting my fuzz butt. Plus considering how freaking huge they are they could hurt her in a fight. She is very protective of HER backyard and yells at birds who land here.

Now by this point it's alarming enough as far as I'm concerned, the honey was highly curious.  He got a ladder and  looked over the fence.

Then he made me look. Have you ever seen that movie Kingdom of the Spiders? It was like that. Freaky ass spider webs covering all the weeds & trees. o.0

I hate spiders. I do not care for them sam I am. I do not like them on a train, I do not like them on a plane. I do not like them alive, I do not like them dead...

Hate.

The honey had enough and called a few agencies regarding the fire & pest hazards these were causing. (All those dried out weeks were like kindling waiting to go up.) The fire department came by had a looksie and contacted the owners with an order to clean the shit up. The guy about jumped a foot when he saw the dead rodent carcases and spiders. If the kid had still been there I'd have called child protection. o.0

Within a week new people were living there. No real big complaints yet, though the Male of the household listens to bad talk radio loudly during the day. Not a problem now that it's cooled off enough for the windows to be closed. Still hard to respect a person when they listen to crazy shit from the wrong side of the political tracks. That side being the ones who want to fuck all Americans in favor of big business. I can't get behind that!

Seems like a Father with a grown daughter living with him. He's been spending his days cleaning up the mess and fixing stuff up. This has stirred up alllllllllllll those spiders.

I hate spiders.

A few weeks ago I had some girlies over after a day of yarn browsing and lunch out. No yarn purchased on my part! I made a dinner of enchaladas and we knit, watched a movie and by the end of the night it was just Monkey Socks and I watching a few episodes of that show Life. Love that show now. I watched the whole first season thanks to her. She left around 5:30 am and all was well. Later that morning around 11:30am I went out into the living room and immidiatly spotted hanging off the spider candelabra a freaking BLACK WIDOW SPIDER. I did what any sane person would do, I called my honey into the room to kill it while I hid behind a door with a baseball bat. :P

Last year there was one by the front door, from the same spider infested yard. Hate those people. I hope she gets a rash, or more likely the one she has never goes away. (Why yes I can be very mean when prompted.)

It was scary to think one of those bastards was just feet from where we were all hanging out knitting n' stuff. *icky shivers*

Right around that time the honey found a mystery poo out in our yard. We carefully removed it so TKK wouldn't be exposed to anything that might make her sick. TKK is a box only kitty and would be offended at the idea of doing her box business outside on the grass. Plus since all the weird stuff, the huge birds of prey and huge weird cats she has only been allowed outside if the honey and I are with her.  Now after the mystery poo she can't go out until we do a yard check to make sure there's nothing we don't want her exposed to. She is PISSED. Plus when she smells the weird cat out there she gets upset.

Yesterday morning I was outside looking at the tomatoes, green peppers and basil that were killed by the frost and snow last week and saw another mystery poo. o.0 After the honey got it cleared away he found another one in another part of the yard. TKK was sad.

OH! I forgot to mention that the mystery cat KILLED her catnip. :( She is so mad about that. She wouldn't go near that area for a few days. Thankfully we harvested and dried a bunch of it for her before that, but it's not the same. 

So obviously you see that mystery poo cat is pretty much dead if the honey gets a hold of it. It's one thing to poo in our yard, but it's messing with TKK's overall happiness and possibly causing a health threat since we don't know if it has something. The honey has said if it comes to that he won't tell me about it. We've had many long talks about this. I would prefer no one die, but he's beyond pissed at this point.

So this morning we were in the kitchen making breakfast and he suddenly throws his shoes on and grabs a baseball bat and goes outside. o.0 The cat was out there. I didn't see it.

The cat got away. There was a mystery poo to clean up.

I hope that scared it away so that it never comes back.

On one hand I don't want some poor innocent animal to bite the dust... but this is TKK's yard and she should be able to go out into whenever she wants without us being worried that some big cat will attack her or give her some disease or parasite. Our vet told us not to let her outside until the situation was resolved, so resolved it will have to be.

When the honey was outside looking over the yard he killed two more black widows. We've sprayed animal friendly spider killer so that TKK doesn't get hurt being near it, but if she can't go outside anyway I'm thinking it's time for the heavy duty shit.

So that's what's been going on over here. o.0

(and when the hell did typepad change the layout stuffs?)

I wish the humans were dead so we didn't have to deal with this stuff. Or at least those people. Nah, make it all. ;)

Comments

[Nora]

ROFL!!

[Cookie]

You may want to have the honey look into trapping them and taking them to a shelter/the pound. He may also want to look into animal proofing the backyard.

We hate people for a reason, ya know.

xo

[Sarah]

Oh, my! I hope you find your way safely through this.

[La Verna]

Wow.I am so glad we have acre and our nearest neighbors are across the street.I hate rental property when the tenants do not take care of it. Hopefully it will cool off enough soon and the spiders will go away.

[Susan]

Oh scary. I like spiders but only the happy ones..not the black widows or fiddlebacks. Heh, maybe I even have bad spiders, how would I know. I can just see that they are spiders but I can't see their little markings. So far so good.

[Carrie K]

We have black widows on our hills. They've never bothered me, but OTOH there's a strict death penalty clause for spiders that stray into the house.

Your neighbor's sounds like a worse version of ours. Houses do seem to attract the crazy.

Poor TKK! She should be able to roam freely in her own yard. OTOH, poor cat that's forced to forage in Neighbor From Hell's yard for food.

[hi]

poo is not good to eat

[Linda]

I was reading this saying, "That sounds like our neighbors"! We call HER "ankelBracelet" and HIM "sleezo"....renters of the rich guy next door.