Freak Ass Santa Pants

I have in my possession some damn freaky ugly ass yarn. The picture doesn't truly capture the horribleness of it all.

It's Ass. Like the pants of a drunk street corner Santa in the late 70's. You know what I mean.

FREAK ASS SANTA PANTS BAD! o.0

This yarn is so bad it hurts my eyes. Similar to the way black yarn hurts. Just different. Where as the black sucks up all the light until your eyes fall out this shit bounces it back at you like the cores of a thousand suns. So repulsive it conjures up all those scared childhood moments when your head was at best the height of a pair of Freak Ass Santa Pants. Oh yes truly the stuff of nightmares, my friends.

I can only blame myself though. See there was this online store going out of business and the yarn was cheap and easy. I purchased some yarn in red for the Red Scarf Project. It was the colorway Christmas. I had no idea their idea of Christmas  would resemble the contents of Rudolph's nose should it ever explode. o.0

So it's here and blinding. No way would I ever wear a scarf in this detestable shade and I'm not going to inflict it upon some poor college kid. PLUS I think I might go insane if I have to look at it while knitting. It's just bad. o.0 It might have tried to kill me in my sleep it's so bad.

So now my house smells like a Wool Salad as I am dyeing the terrible skeins. Yes skeins... I got two. Oy.

Ironically I did the very thing during this dyeing experiment that I've always feared. I got it all over my kitchen floor. And myself. I put the dye in a squeeze bottle for a second go over after I did a full submersion dye all over and when I opened it the pressure made the dye squirt up and out. o.0

It was a lot easy to clean up than I thought it would be though. Of course I cleaned it up super fast to insure this. *L* My shirt is ruined and my hair is going to look a little wilder for a few days but I'll live.

If my honey comes home and tells me I have Red on me I will give him a big kiss. *L* (still dyeing why change until I'm done :P)

"You've got Red on you."

Well I better get back to the dye pot. It's time to rinse up. Wheeeeeeeee!

Comments

[Cookie]

I can't wait to see what it grows up to be. :D

Btw, the Santa pants reminds me of a certain old guy. o.0

/runs like hell

[Barbp]

You're right that is some ugly ass yarn. Your story reminds me of when I tried to make homemade wine with champagne yeast instead of .. well you can imagine the mess that made of my kitchen and what it smelled like..
Yeah I know, I'm not sure what's worse either. :-D

[Devorah]

Thanks for the laugh. I can't wait to see how it dyed up. Santa Red yarn is pretty scary but then I find Santa scary. (o.k., not really.)

[Dave Daniels]

That totally doesn't suck. Add a little black and it'll look wicked awesome.

[Ann]

Firrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre engine red. It was bright in the photo in real life it was scary?

Looking forward to the mad scientist emerging with something interesting....

So calling you little red riding hood right now might not be such a good idea?