Yarn Abuse

It's come to my attention recently that I have NO BLOODY IDEA how to handle free range yarn.

Look at that. o.0

It's yarn abuse, 440 yards of Knit Picks dye your own merino yarn abuse at that.

I was considering dyeing some yarn over the weekend. I've told Dave and Cookie many times of my fear... but that's another matter. I never even made it to the dye phase of the operation. I was going to make a dye sized skein or whatever. Lacking the proper tools I was going to do the chair method... It didn't work out for me. I guess I should have balled my yarn before I tried to make it into a skein. When I was going round and round the loops from the hank I was winding off from got all tangled. o.0

I didn't cry though. I looked at it for a minute and then ran away to hide. Then the cat found it and thought it was some kind of new play land so I gathered it up and put it into the yarn faerie box.

(Now you get three skeins of dye-able yarn! *cough*GottaUntangleOneFirstThough*cough*)

I obviously wasn't meant to handle long lengths of free range yarn.

So where exactly did I go wrong?

Do I need a swift before I start something like this again?

Do I ball the hank and then make a long dye-able skein from it?

What tools do I need here?

I'm pretty sure I need a swift.

Would a Niddy Noddy help?

It's like once I get the wrapper cuff off it all morphs into tentacles and all the yummy sweet yarn-ness turns evil. o.0

*sigh*

So off it goes to be cared for by Cookie. I figured it was a safe bet rather than waiting around for YPS (Yarn Protective Services) to come and take it away. Plus she has a Swift on the way and has many more years of yarn handling experience than I do.

Please dye it a happy color and knit it up into something you will enjoy. It should have a happy ever after considering how tortured it's start was...

Comments

[Cookie]

I would like to take a moment to remind you of someone we both know. Someone who has a mostly functional brain and has been working with yarn based crafts for many years. A someone, who one Friday night not all that long ago tossed a brand new off Ebay skein of yarn onto her living room floor and started to crochet off it like it was a skein of Red Heart or something. It was black Cascade 220 and she said it looked like a dreadlock (SP?) wig before she was done with it.

Having said that...

Make the boyfriend help you. Make him hold the hank for you. He is the man you love. It's his job to help you with yarn. No, do not listen to Dave. Dave is wrong. A man's job is to hold the yarn.

I would suggest making a ball if you cannot use it in the hank form it arrived in. Then you can make whatever you want with it and it is much easier to make a hank from a ball.

I used the two chair method and it worked fine for me. However, I do not have a live-in man. I have a cat and she does not do yarn. It's in her union agreement. Always read the fine print on those things.

Ya know, it doesn't look that bad.

No, really.

Not that bad. I mean... kitty could have taken it on a walk or something. o.0

[Ann]

I think it's time for an intervention. I too was a member of the tangled up beyond recognition yarn skein club. I didn't photograph the photos of my disaster.

I have used my swift a ton since I started this dyeing stuff. But I have also used chairs, large cardboard boxes and hanging my head..my feet. Let me tell you, even with a fresh pedicure it was not pretty.

I say use the man..promise him wild sexual favors, anything to have those hands where you really want them--holding a skein of yarn. I vote with the try to make a ball or balls out of the mess I have heard that more than one ball can be fun.

Back to work!

Ann

[Cheryl]

It just takes alot of patience --and something like a movie to distract you--