Dear RockStar Scarf,
I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I don't know exactly how to say this so I will just come out and say it.
This isn't working out for me.
We just aren't right for one another. When we first started seeing one another I thought it would be an exciting whirl wind affair. You're a ROCKSTAR for gods-sake. I've tried to blame outside factors, like the Loopy Mohair, but it's not really that. The Loopy Mohair is doing what it needs to do just fine. While I may not love it I can live with it.
You however have broken my heart. You came to me with all these promises and now I see they were just lies. You aren't exciting. You aren't glamorous. You are just plain boring.
You say you're going to be all these wonderful things, but every night you just want to sit at home doing the SAME DAMN THING OVER AND OVER.
You call you're self a RockStar. Pathetic. Look at you, you're just garter stitch.
You just don't satisfy me or My needs. I want excitement... a challenge. I want more than your limp attempts to please me.
I hate to say this, but I've been seeing other projects. That's why I've been avoiding you lately. I've been seeing a lovely cable scarf. He's soft, keeps me warm... he keeps my mind and my hands busy. He asks more of me and I willing give it to him knowing I can do anything for him. When I run my fingers over his length I feel joy like I have NEVER known with you.
I could be fake and say this is all me and not you, but I think we owe it to one another to be honest at this crucial point in our relationship... because it really is you.
Thanks for the fun we did have. The start of any relationship is always beautiful. So exciting, full of hope and wonder. But there is a time for everything and now our time is gone.
Best of luck in whatever you do next.. even though we both know you'll just keep doing the same shit over and over. I'm taking the yarn with me, yes even the loopy mohair. We were always better off without you anyway.